How Love Life Can Be Destroyed

My name is Sher E Yazdan, This is my beginning of writing. This is my first article. I just experienced a lot of things which I can not say to anybody nor try to tell but I want to write about my experience so that young couples prepared for coming challenges that if a man and women fall in love with each other and think about 5 to 10 times why they want to be together and if they want to marry each other what circumstances they are going to face .In Pakistan and India there are some rules and regulation and policies to be together officially. Must read the article you will learn more and more things. There are solutions of problems and i googled and also searched on YouTube but nothing that can i found about it. but here that how to behave how to treat your Son In-Law And How Can People Destroy Love.

I am going to tell you from the beginning of this story must read carefully and read it complete

In the very first if a man and women fall in love together everything will be so romantic and very well. It’s like a dream comes true for them, everything goes very smooth and easy, but mostly in Pakistan and India in a old era parents are going to do arrange marriages of their children but now since 2008 mostly parents allow their children to do love marriage. And that is the good thing and great decision. Because children have right to make choice in their lives. Now back to the point.

When a man and women sure about to marry each other the story begins to face challenges. They make promises and take swears of each other to be with each other in any situation condition and circumstances no matter what is.

As per man family he convinced their parents on his way. Maximum he will not eat food few days, but parents compromise for their son because they want him to be happy with good health.

On The Other Hand

A Women want to convince their parents but first of all she will share about the man which she want to marry. She will share their story to her sister or specially Mother. And Mother will convince her husband (Women’s father)at last her parents will decide to meet man’s family. Than a man took his family to her house and meet and greet her family. Everything will go smooth and somethings difficult if a man don’t have Government Job or average income. Well fine if everything they have got in a right way her parents will be agree.

But Some of the Women family side prefer government job. Now Some mother Manipulate their daughters to tell the man to get government job. Here Women guided by her mother in a ridiculous way. That is only way to break a man’s heart. Everyone knows that in this era of 20’s to get Government job is very extremely hard in Pakistan and India .This is a first point for women family to break this relationship. I again repeat this is first step to break relationship with a man and his family. If this issue resolved by convincing the women’s family by man’s parents. The other point is that if a man have 1 to 3 elder sisters or brothers. This is a second point to to break a man’s some desires. Women’s family questioned in a very taunted way what why the man’s sisters and brothers are unmarried why the are not getting married.

Now here are the culture and tradition issue and a general information and manners and etiquette for conversation.

Why Elder Siblings Are Not Married? Here are the a few reasons.

1. This is a very abusive question the a women family ask. In some culture and tradition it is very sensitive and abusive question. Which are not to asked by women’s family.
2. Elder siblings they will get married when they are ready
3. elder siblings want to get their brother married first because of this kind of situation is happening with their brother. Because of love marriage.

Some how man and women engaged with each other happily.

After Engagement some of mothers tell their daughters to invite her fiancé to their home. As women’s mother said she invited and he comes and meet her parents.

Now the art manipulation begins.

Woman’s mother serve his future son in-law in a very well mannered way and tell her stories of their In-laws how they treated her in a very strict way and more and more things just to manipulate son -In-law. She manipulate him by targeting his siblings that one day they will not support you they will fight with your future wife (Her daughter) and your siblings will misbehave with her. on every week she invited her son In-Law to pure Poison in his heart against his family. Against his sisters, brothers, even parents. Woman also supports her mother and manipulate her Fiancé that your family don’t respect me at all. Just because of her mother and daughter did amature behavior with man family. They both are manipulating their son why should they give response to them. It is a common logic or a fact if you anybody insult your son or daughter why should her/his family respond you.

Common Problem With Sister In-Law (Man’s Sister)

It is a very common issue in Pakistan and in India that in every family there is a one member of aggressive personality but is doesn’t mean that after a marriage of brother. Man’s sister attack on his wife. That is the thing that a new comers comes in a family after marriage they already treat brother’s wife in a very well way. but If a brother’s wife got envy and think about husband’s sister and did any taunt it will be very trouble for both couple. If a husband’s sister has an aggressive personality. brother’s wife must have to treat her in a very respectable way and be nice to her spend time with her and talk. everything will be alright. But no she will not she thinks why should i be first to compromise, even a man compromise so much in front of her disrespecting parents.

Role Of A Girl In A Joint Family Which She Will Go In Her Future Home, In This Era.

1. She should have to call her future mother in-law and future father-in-law and talk to them. on weekends.
2. She should have to his future husband’s sister. not daily but on weekly.
3. She should have to remind the man that she is with her and she want to live together. To make him Comfort.
4. She should not discuss about his future home to her family, nor to discuss the behavior which she is treating her mother or brother in her family.
5. She must have to defend her in-laws if there are people making gossips against in-laws in her own family.
6. She must have to stop his fiancé to come and meet her family on weekly basis. This is the biggest mistake ever if a girl know her family what kind of behavior they are planning if they use harsh words. That words will defiantly ruin her future life and her future family.
7. She must have to defend her Fiancé in front of her family

Meetings And Greetings With In-Laws

She must have to make understanding with her future a in-laws.

She must have to speak to her future In-laws.

She must have to respect her future in-laws.

She must have to greet in a very happy way with her Future Mother in-law and Father-In-Law because if anything critical things happens the are going to first to protect her in any case ,fights or clashes.

She must have to understand the one thing that in-laws are going to her future family.

These things are happening in this era that parents not teaching her daughters manners and ethics that how to behave how to handle where to speak or where not to speak.

i am not against of women nor their parents. But here are some reason in love marriage what a girl do mistakes even she is loyal to her fiancé.

If a women feel that in her future family (In-Laws) will yells at her or scold her. Listen to me carefully A man never tolerate if anyone yells at his wife or fiancé even they are from family members. If anything happens man will take his wife with her and live separately but if nothing happening like that, yelling or scolding. Than why should man take his wife and live separate? if a women want to live separate is there any romantically circus she want to do with his husband? I apologize for this time of sentence but i am trying to say that why don’t this era women want to live in a joint family system? should a man leave his family leave his old parents for a wife who parents did anything for their son to become well educated well stablished man and is this justice that he leave his old parents when they needed their son the most. Wow What a illogical thing a women want from her husband.

What is Man? Who is Man?

A baby boy born and celebrate in a very fantastic way. Boy birth is very important in Pakistan And India. He grown up in a mostly middle class family and find a job. he left his all activities and life he just spend life in earning and saving and thinking about his family and earn money and save for their siblings marriage. When he way the green signal after siblings get married and now his turn to get married. Sudden things happens especially in this era. The cross question with a man and his parents.

How much you earns?

Do you have your own house?

How much square feet your house is?

Do you have government job?

Why don’t you have government job?

Do you have your own car?

Why your sisters are not married? (if sisters are not married)

How much medical allowance do you get in your this private job?

If anything happens would do afford a separate house for you and your wife?

Which car do you have?

When a man family don’t believe on dowry. Then why women family expect this expensive dower from a man?

Marriage is marriage, marriage is love. Marriage is not a contract or deal or a demand. That people are so much conscious to Interpret in every step of each other families.

Why don’t people do their children marriage in a very simple way and the amount of which they want to spend they must have to give their children and send them to perform Hajj or Umrah (Pilgrimage). Just because what will society says about you? Who care they will eat in your marriage and after eating they will say food was not good, it was spicy or something else etc.

Now Man Women Are Still Engaged Story Continues.

Women call her fiancé to come and talk to her mother about marriage shopping truth is that women’s mothers told her daughter to call him and invite him because her mother want to talk about. Man comes to her home to meet with her mother and man don’t know what to talk about. Her mother greet and tells him that we are preparing for wedding and doing shopping and show him the cloths of a bride and groom. Her Mother tell him that my daughter does not like blue dress with i want to order and we can’t go to malls because my husband is not giving me permission to go out and do some shopping for my daughter. Now its not a cup of tea of a man. that future father in-law is not allowing them. And by the it a wedding of her daughter she must have to do something but it not a man headache. Just read carefully how a love can be destroyed by thinking and doing all that. Well man tells her mother that it’s your personal problem with your daughter and with your husband that he is not allowing you what can i do? because she is not in my Nikah man said” She is still Na Mahram for me how can i help? at this point mother said i wish that on engagement day you and my daughter could be married, but i was confused that what type of you and your family is i was confused. Man greet with future mother in-law and went home.

Women Fight With Her Fiancé Because Of The Negativity Of Her Mind With No Logical Reason.

Women started fighting with her fiancé to live separate house. without facing any problems from man’s family. She fights in a very brutal way it’s called mentally torture. And man did the same. but at one point man loses and he comes to her home and talk to her mother that what is happening with her. Do you discuss with her or she discuss with you? Her mother said she does not discuss about you anything. She is very shy. Man request to her mother that please talk to her why she is doing with me. Her mother said ok i will talk to her to just relax. Man went home and feeling very sick women stopped talking to him. On the next day Man calls her mother and desperately ask did you talk to her? Her mother said no not yet. i will talk to her soon. On 3rd day Man comes to women home to meet with her mother. And a man ask her. did you talk to her. She said no not yet. One the 4th day Man calls her mother and ask her could you please tell me what is happening.? she said i didn’t talk to her yet. And finally Man text his Fiancé. You and your mother are playing with me you eat together live together. How is it impossible that she is not discussing with you and you are not discussing with her. Do you think i am Fool? I am Child that your mother is giving me lollipops (excuses) Do you really want to marry or not? She didn’t reply to his text. Man controls his anger and emotions and after few days Women calls him and talk to him but nothing happen again brutal fight. Man went her home and tells that from our side we can’t take you to for the shopping because my mother is sick which is true she hardly to walk. Her mother said now what is the solution. Man said we will pay the amount of Bridal Dress and other things buy Bridal dress from your daughter choice. Because She will not tolerate if any of my family member choose the dress and tells her it is beautiful. She said no that is not the way as usual (“Humare Yahan Aisa Nahi Hota ”) She raises voice in a loud way and said your mother always making excuses this is not the way she must have to come with us. Man Told her she is a Diabetes Patient she can’t even walk she have bones problem too but please wait she will be good soon then we will go together. She said No. Man said but if my family comes and help your daughter in choosing bridal dress your daughter will not tolerate them. She don’t tolerate them at all. Future mother in-law say in a very laud way. Ok your mother is making excuses take your younger sister and your elder brother to drive us to the mall and please don’t bring your elder sister I know she will do anything stupid that my daughter will not tolerate. I said it’s not like that even she don’t say a single word but your daughter will say something negative to you. She said you may go now .THIS IS A RESPECT OF A SON IN-LAW , IN, IN-LAWS IN LOVE MARRIAGE.IF ANYOTHER MAN WOULD BE AT THIS SITUATION HE WILL LEAVE THIS FAMILY AND BREAK-UP AND GONE.BUT BECAUSE OF A WOMEN WHICH HE LOVES THE MOST DUE TO HER RESPECT HE DON’T LEAVE HER.

Demand Of Mother In-Law (Daughter’s Mother)

Future Mother In-Law To Her Future Son In-Law

I am worried about my daughter and you are younger the your siblings.

Please tell your parents that please do your first son the wedding (Man’s elder brother)

After that you can marry my daughter. Now when a man’s goes home and tell his parents. They Agree now problem the the women (Man’s Fiancé )She got angry with man’s parents and with man why are you delaying our marriage.

Man said to his Fiancé please ask your mother.do not ask me. She said it .

Women pressurize the man please talk to you parents do early please first us then others. Man replied do not pressurize me now I want my brother to get married then me because of your mother. Man heart broken now because her mother’s policies. How could both couple survive in this kind of environment.

At The End Man And Women Both Fed Up From These Problem And Thin That Love Is A Waste Of Time

MORAL:

RESPECT THE MAN AND SAVE YOUR LOVE LIFE

Note:

My Name Is Sher E Yazdan I am Writer of Article. Hope Many Couples Understand This Kind Of Situation Please Be Prepare If You Are Not.

SHER-E-YAZDAN